


not that bad

by orphan_account



Series: Snapshots of a Wild Sasuke, Hogwarts-style [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Female Uchiha Sasuke, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Madara just wants his fucking notes, Not Beta Read, This Is STUPID, Why Did I Write This?, and unneeded, and useless, bc we die like awkward dumbasses who dont know how to ask, but here have it anyway, canon is literally not a thing, do i understand how this AU works??, have a bullshit AU, here, no, ot Hospital Wings, sasuke is Not Fond of Hospitals, the generations are fucking switched and I dont understand it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:21:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21666391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sasuke climbs and Susanoo's walls, Naruto tries to get Kurama back, Sakura shatters a wall, Sai splatters people with ink, Tobirama is... there, Izuna is also...there, Hashirama isalsothere...Mito is a good cousin, Touka is here for the specific purpose of being stunned, Kakashi conveniently shows up at the end to give detentions, and several characters are Mentioned™.__________________________________________Or: I shittily write when I should've been sleeping.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi & Sai & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Sai & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Senju Tobirama & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Izuna & Uchiha Madara & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Madara & Uchiha Izuna & Uzumaki Mito & Senju Touka & Senju Tobirama & Senju Hashirama, Uchiha Madara & Uzumaki Mito, Uzumaki Mito & Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Snapshots of a Wild Sasuke, Hogwarts-style [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1570590
Comments: 7
Kudos: 58





	not that bad

_"Tobira!"_

"Don't _call_ me that, Anija." Tobirama says, throwing a scowl at his absolute _buffoon_ of an older brother, glancing at Madara when he snickers. The Hufflepuff smirks at him, obviously enjoying his annoyance.

"Hey, Tobes, it's almost like-" Izuna chokes, clutching his side dramatically after Tobirama jabs him with his pointy elbow. Izuna's peacock familiar squawks in complaint, walking next to Izuna and nearly being stepped on by him. 

Izuna stops being dramatic long enough to say sorry to Firoi, scooping him up into his arms, just barely balancing his bag, stuffed full of recommended reading for their OWLs, on his arm with his hands full of peacock.

"Hey, Mito, isn't that your younger cousin? The blond one?" Touka asks, staring at the blond trying to stop a fox, presumably his familiar, from running away through the halls.

"Oh, you mean Naruto?" Mito asks, glancing up from her NEWT notes, scanning the room for her cousin. "Mhm. That's him. He must have just gotten his familiar." Mito hums, absentmindedly stroking her own familiar, a fox named Kyuubi.

"They really don't get along, do they." Madara muses, his falcon, Kuturo, perched on his elbow as he contemplates the chaos at the top of the stairs while shuffling through his notes for his transfiguration ones. "Sort of like you and Kyuubi in the beginning, Mito." He says, tilting his head curiously.

"Should we go say hi?" Hashirama asks, the same moment Izuna suddenly says, extremely casually, "Hey, is that Sasuke up there?"

"Where-? Oh." Madara says, staring at his cousin who's climbing up a wall, away from Naruto's ill-mannered familiar. He squints at the figure, before nodding. "Yeah, that's her." He goes back to rummaging through his bag, looking for some of his notes for the transfiguration NEWT he's taking tomorrow.

"Does she need help?" Hashirama asks, pointlessly, because the moment he finished saying it he takes off, his dog bounding after him.

The other five trail after him, starting up the stairs and slipping around people to join up at the top.

When they get there, the two younger cousins have been joined by a pink-haired girl, named Sakura, and a boy who looks astonishingly like an Uchiha, named Sai, along with their familiars, a monkey and a chameleon, respectively, along with Hashirama, who's currently being attacked by Naruto's ill-tempered fox.

"-and then he just went _flying_ at me, 'ttebay- Mito! Look! I got a familiar! He's really mean, though, he scratches _everyone_ and he keeps calling me names in our link, and his name's Kurama, 'ttebayo!"

"Hey Naruto. You know, we both have foxes- and they look alike. I think they're twins, when i got Kyuubi he had a sibling who didn't bond with anyone- I think that _is_ him, actually." Mito muses, smiling at Naruto before switching her attention to Sakura and Sai.

"Hello," Sakura says hesitantly, which prompts Sai to repeat the greeting a second later. 

"Why are you climbing a wall?" Tobirama interrupts the conversations, drawing everyone's attention to Sasuke, who's launching herself off of stones that stick out and grabbing at others blindly.

"More importantly, aren't you worried you're going to fall off?" Touka demands, eyeing her carefully, her hyena, Timikaho nudging her forward.

"No." All three Uchiha present say, Sasuke punctuating this by climbing up higher and pausing, balancing on a brick while removing her bag and her heavy cloak. Izuna adds on, saying, "At home she always climbs up really high, and then drops off without getting hurt, but-" 

Madara continues Izuna's sentence in that unnerving way, without a pause. "-Itachi almost has a heart attack every time she does it, too, and it's funny to see him look so uncomposed, which is why she continues to do it after she proved she could to Obito."

"Oh, my hawk is flying around the school and I wanted to see if I could see where he went." Sasuke says, answering Tobirama's question while yanking herself up a stone and swinging herself up to the window ledge, her Ravenclaw tie flipping upside down. 

"But you have a snake around your neck," Tobirama says blankly, staring at her intensely. "Do you have two familiars, or is the hawk your pet?"

Sasuke pauses, and leans over to look at Tobirama, blinking. "You noticed Aoda?" She asks, and then continues, "How-" before cutting her off, having noticed Tobirama's snow leopard, Kiyo, who lets him borrow her improved vision at times.

"Oh." She says, and pulls her head back before pausing. She stays that way for several seconds before getting ready to leap down, tensing.

Of course, that's when Kurama rips out of Naruto's hands, launching himself at Sasuke, rippling as he gets bigger and bigger, while his nine tails swing around wildly.

Sasuke panics, and in her panic she manages to activate an Uchiha-only magic spell, crushing the part of the wall she was on top of, her Susanoo destroying it as she swings wildly to drive Kurama away.

Kurama is knocked back, and then Naruto figures out how to stop channeling his magic to Kurama, courtesy of Mito, and Kurama shrinks until he's regular-sized again.

However, Sasuke's Susanoo and Kurama turning gigantic scared Sakura and Sai, who both unintentionally ruined some more property, with Sakura destroying a wall and Sai accidentally unleashing some ink animals, who destroy things until Tobirama helpfully soaks the paper, turning the animals into soggy ink-stained paper, Sai nodding in gratitude.

Everyone has fallen silent, quietly staring at the destruction four first years have caused, until the Gryffindor Head of House strides towards them, lazily coming to a stop in front of his house member, Sai.

Professor Hatake eyes the destruction and the four guilty looking first years with an arched eyebrow. "Detention for all of you." Professor Hatake says, his tone slightly amused. "One for the destruction of property, two for the use of magic in the hallways, and another one for being late to class, so four in total for all of you." He paused, considering Sakura.

"Miss Haruno, you'll serve your detentions with me. You can help grade transfiguration NEWTs and OWLs, starting tonight." Sakura scowls, but subsides. "Oh, and eighty points from Gryffindor, eighty points from Ravenclaw, eighty points from Slytherin, and eighty points from Hufflepuff." He says absentmindedly, smiling at them cheerfully. 

"Mister Uzumaki, you can serve with Professor Nohara, starting Wednesday. I'll even give you a reminder since you have my class last so you don't forget." Naruto pouted, flushing red.

"Mister Sai, you'll serve your detentions with Professor Tsunade, starting tonight. She'll be in the dungeons with Professor Orochimaru." Sai nodded, picking up his bag and shoving his papers inside.

"Miss Uchiha, detentions with Professor Orochimaru, starting tonight, in the dungeons. I hear he needs help with harvesting lizard spleen." He paused, analyzing Sasuke. "Hospital wing," He says abruptly. "You're running low on magic. Visit the hospital wing."

"Do I have to?" Sasuke asked, edging backwards, towards the hole.

"Yes, you do need to visit the hospital wing, unless you want to pass out during the day."

"I'll pass."

"Out?"

"Sure." Sasuke shrugged, Aoda curling around her shoulder and her cat, Mikudai, popping her head out of her bag.

"...That's not an option, Miss Uchiha."

"But you _said_ it was." Sasuke points out, walking backwards, away from Professor Hatake.

"Maa, maa, we all say things we don't _really_ mean, don't we?"

"You mean _lying?"_

Izuna snorted, grinning. Madara was still searching for something in his bag.

"Well, no- _don't."_

Sasuke jumped out of the castle, hissing, _"I won;t go to the hospital wing for a bit of **magic depletion!** ", _startling Naruto, who tumbles out of the castle shrieking loudly, Sakura shooting up the wall, scrabbling to find purchase and clinging on, and Sai _popped_ into a small paper-cat in surprise.

"Found my notes," Madara said triumphantly, looking up and observing the mess that had occurred while he wasn't paying attention.

He blinked slowly, staring at all the mess, and offhandedly saying, "I'll bring Sasuke some tomatoes in the hospital wing.", and returning his attention to his notes.

"...That's all you have to say?" Touka demanded incredulously, staring at Madara wide-eyed.

"...Yeah?" Madara blinked at her, before gesturing at the place. "It's not even that bad."

The wall was blown apart, the window was shattered, everyone was covered in ink, there was a fox-shaped hole in the wall, the floor had cracks in it which led up to a crater, and some of it had caught on fire at some point.

_"...not bad?"_

"Mhm."

Touka gave up and flopped onto her hyena, sulking miserably.


End file.
